Last week on Sunday, after 15 and half hours, I crossed the finished line at the 2014 Arizona Ironman. I heard Mike Reilly, the “voice of Ironman” say, “Russ Pond, you are an Ironman!”
Interestingly, I still can’t say to myself, I am an Ironman.
Months before the race, people would often encourage me, “All your training will pay off when you hear those words, ‘You are an Ironman!'” Even during the race, random spectators would encourage me, “You’re almost there. You’re about to hear those words, you are an Ironman!” Then, after the race, the text messages and Facebook posts flooded in, “Russ, you did it. You are an Ironman!”
Finishing the race and hearing those words didn’t affect me like I thought it was supposed to. Sure, I was glad to be finished, but it was just a race. And even now, I still can’t say it. And, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to.
According to the Ironman organization, I did everything you were supposed to do to finish an Ironman race, and within the allotted 17 hours. By all accounts, I have the right to call myself an “Ironman”.
Here’s what I think is going on. And, it’s a good thing. Maybe even a great thing.
For the past few years, I’ve been really focused on this issue of identity. What defines me? How do we define ourselves?
Most of us define ourselves by what we do:
- I write. So, I’m an author.
- I run. So, I’m a runner.
- I make movies. So, I’m a filmmaker.
- I started a business. So, I’m an entrepreneur.
- I do good things. So, I’m a good person.
Those all sound good. But, what about the not-so-good things we do?
- I eat too much. So, I’m a glutton.
- I sleep in too much. So, I’m lazy.
- I can’t hold a job. So, I’m a failure.
- I sin. So, I’m a sinner.
- I do bad things. So, I’m a bad person.
The struggle I’ve been trying to overcome the past few years is to not let what I do define who I am.
And, it’s hard! It’s so engrained in our culture, our upbringing and our world system. Sadly, we often define ourselves by what we do, good or bad.
How would you reply if I asked, “Who are you?”
“I’m John Doe.”
Well, not really. That’s just a name someone gave you at birth.
“Who are you?”
“I’m a chef.”
No, that’s just a job you do.
“Who are you?”
“I’m an American.”
No, that’s just the country you were born in.
“Who are you?”
“I’m an Ironman.”
No, that’s just a race you finished.
“Who are you?”
It’s a hard question to answer.
And, I’ve been trying to answer it for a the past few years.
I’m working hard to not define myself by what I do or what I have done. And, I’m working even harder to not define myself by what I haven’t done, or the wrong things I’ve done.
My focus the past few years has been to define myself by what God says about me, and only what he says about me, because He says things like:
- You’re my child.
- You’re the apple of my eye.
- You’re forgiven.
- You’re righteous.
- You’re accepted.
- You’re perfect.
- You’re mine.
And, the more I push aside the world’s definitions of who I am and focus on God’s definition of who I am, an incredible peace and confidence fill my heart, and I find such joy in knowing who I really am.
Am I an Ironman? I guess. Maybe. If that’s what you want to call me.
I’d much rather be called a “child of God.”
We arrived in Tempe the Thursday before the race. I wanted to have a few days to acclimate to the dry, Arizona climate. I was also able to register and pick up all my race material, including my race bib. It was starting to get very real.
On Friday, our friends Heather and Monica arrived, and we picked them up at the airport. We spent some time at Ironman village seeing the sights and experiencing the race weekend festivities. Afterwards, we drove the bike course. This really helped me see what I would be facing on race day.
We were up at 4am for my normal routine of coffee and oatmeal. And at 5am, we headed out to the race venue.
Initially, I was a bit concerned about that, but I really liked it. The short swim was an excellent warm up. And then, staying in the water an extra 10 or 15 minutes was an excellent way to get adjusted to the water temperature, since it was a chilly 68 degrees.
I was ready for the bike portion of the race. I felt very confident about the swim and the bike events, because I knew I could finish them pretty quickly. Boy, was I wrong. The bike ride was brutal! I read later that it was the worst wind conditions in the 11 year history of the Arizona Ironman. Winds were 20 to 25 mph with gusts up even higher.
A few folks had warned me that once I got off the bike, the thought of running a marathon would be overwhelming. But, my experience was quite different. I went right into the run feeling pretty good and strong. Probably because I was so happy to get off the bike and start moving in a different motion.
Exactly six weeks from now, around this very time (5:30 am), I’ll be wrapping up my morning race routine with one cup of coffee and some toast. Then, I’ll put on my Zoot tri suit, grab my start bag and head to the race venue. On November 16th, I will be doing my first, full Ironman race in Tempe, Arizona.
Quite unimpressive, but it was the start of an amazing season. I would go on that year to race in four more sprints, two olympics and then wrap up the season by crossing the finish line at the 
I asked my coach what was the easiest Ironman venue, if there was such a thing. He suggested either 
I’ve been asking myself quite a bit lately, Why am I doing this? What is my motivation to do something that seems impossible, especially for non-athletes like me? (When you spend hours alone on a bike ride, run or swim, you tend to have lots of time to ask yourself these scary questions.)
I wanted to write this article for two reasons: accountability and encouragement.
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