Unfortunately, Russell…

Just came across something funny.

Imagine with me for a moment–you’re a screenwriter, and you have a creative block. You need some drama. Here’s what you do: Google “Unfortunately, $InsertName” and there you go.

Unfortunately, Russell…

• Unfortunately, Russell being a little digging machine (and an overachieving one at that) made some more modifications to his bedding chamber and dug through to the surface.

• Unfortunately, Russell’s sled bogged down in soft snow going up a steep hill. By the time he reached the top, the others were a quarter mile ahead and seemingly about to end his last chance to collect the oxen.

• Unfortunately Russell fixed that nasty palette bug in drivers/video/fbcon.

• Unfortunately, Russell’s SE Linux policies take effect on everything he touches, the gun was denied, and the headset was turned off.

• Unfortunately, Russell had gotten quite old. (Ouch, that one hurt.)

• Unfortunately, Russell was not feeling at his best that day, and so he was not as flamboyant as he was.

• Unfortunately, Russell wastes much of the book on exposition and flashbacks, and the emotional turmoils and scandalous revelations too often lapse into melodrama.

• Unfortunately, Russell’s e-mail address no longer works so I have been unable to notify him of this version.

I could go on. There were 700 of them.

But, unfortunately…